Ah-C-K_! Ah-C-K-!
Excuse me, Guys! Just coughing up another hairball.
Yeah, it’s me again, Alfred. The KING. Just trying to enjoy these beautiful winter flowers right outside the homestead and cough up my hairball at the same time.
Right after I had that bad night of nightmares my hairball problem kicked in. The other day, my Moms was staring at me real closely – right up in my face – seeing if I was okay after my bad dreams. You know how Moms are. Always overly concerned. She even called GrandMoms about my bad dream problems and GrandMoms said I was probably having seizures and I should be rushed to the ER again like when I got poisoned by the tub refinishing chemicals and then by my cat litter. But, Moms googled “cat seizsures” and found out that: 1. Cat seizures are really bad. And, I wasn’t having that. and 2. Other cats have bad dreams like me and yowl in their sleep and thrash about. So, I’m normal, Guys…
So, any way. like I was saying. My Moms was looking at me real closely to make sure I was okay, and then I upchucked at her right there. Yep. Projectile cat vomit. Moms was lucky she didn’t hit by it.
“Alfred! Alfred!” Moms cried. “What’s wrong?! Why are you throwing up?! You know that worries me.” And, Guys, that’s when I decided to taste my vomit.
“Alfred! Don’t do that,” my Moms said pushing my head away from my throw up and quickly getting something to wipe it up with. “Don’t eat your vomit, Man. You don’t come from that kind of family. We’re dignified people. We don’t eat our vomit. Here. Let me clean it up.”
After thinking about it, Moms said, “You know I think you’re having hairball problems again. I took you off that expensive intensive 
hairball control cat food forumula. I’ll have to put you back on it.”
And, so, Guys… that was it. I’m back on my hairball diet and the projectile cat vomit has stopped. At least for now. Look, Guys, here I am having fun with my Moms while she execises.
See ya again soon!
The KING
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