Hi Guys! It’s me. Alfred – Yes! KING ALFRED.
I want to give a special S-H-O-U-T O-U-T to all you Moms out there! Happy Mother’s Day!
How you all doin’?! You all havin’ a good Mother’s Day?
I know you’re out there enjoying all your children – especially after working hard for them like my Moms has worked hard since October 2009 for me. I know your kidz went through a lot of trouble to show you how much you mean to them, and I know you made sure you spent time with them today – like my Moms!
Well – I’m here in our DC townhouse waiting for my Moms to show up so I can show her all the great and special things I’ve done for her for Mother’s Day. Like I cleaned up my litter box. I mean I cleaned up all those little gravelly pieces I like to kick out my poop box and that end up all over the floor and then between my Moms’ toes. I also swept up the litter pieces from the bed. You know they end up in my toes, too, and I like to bring them into the bed in between the covers and all over the place.
Yeah, Guys! I cleaned all that up. And I made sure I didn’t drop any cat food or kick litter into my water dish. That really grosses my Moms out. I don’t know why. I did all of that because my Moms is so great.
I mean I know she leaves me alone a lot. Like abandons me to these random people she calls “aunties.” You guys remember the last Auntie that came over? Not the one who just left but the one who was allergic to me? I mean how can a lady who’s allergic to me be my Auntie? And then there were all the uncles. Those uncles scare me. I mean why does my Moms make me have family who terrify me?
But, that’s okay. My Moms does other stuff for me like buy me expensive cat food. The kind that costs like 3 times the price of regular cat food. She gets it for me because I need a special hair ball express kind or something like that. It breaks her budget but she says I’m worth it.
Okay. Never mind that my Moms rations off my cat food in a special battery-powered “cat food feeder” that only gives me enough food to survive on so she can save money. Never mind I often go to bed hungry and have to beg her to give me just a little bit more food to stop the hunger pains and when she does she gives me this cheap kind that costs way less. But, Guys! I like the cheap kind too – Fancy Feast – it’s not that cheap – but it doesn’t give me my hair ball protection like I need.
Plus, my Moms is so great ‘cause she’s always hauling me off to the vet when I get sick even though I’m a real handful – as Grandpops says – because I hate riding in the Benz and I usually have to urinate right when we get in the car. But, my Moms always takes care of my health. She’s always worried something is wrong with me.
Never mind my Moms nearly killed me when she put that toxic flea collar on and didn’t realize that my eyes were glassing over because I was going into shock. And the time I ate medicine and she took off for some long-term overseas trip and I couldn’t open my eyes or walk or move and my Auntie Rachel stayed by side 24/7…
Hey! Hey! Hey! Auntie Rachel! Happy Mother’s Day! You’re a Moms, too! And my Tia Martina! Como estas, Tia?! Ahora eres madre tambien! Feliz dia de las Madres! And Auntie April, my last Auntie I became horribly attached to that Ms. Susie didn’t believe I actually let hold me. There’s a picture of proof there!
And my Auntie Jacelyn from Rwanda and my Auntie Stephanie and her children I knew in Rwanda when I was doin’ my kitten years and who came to visit me in the DC Townhouse last month– a Big Happy Mother’s Day to her and my Auntie Alyson and my Auntie Cousin Christine, whose house I stayed in after my Moms and Mr. August rescued me from the airport ‘cause I missed my connecting flight. I got left in Addis Ababa. I left tons of litter in Cousin Christine’s house. I hope she forgave me. Happy Mother’s Day!
Happy Mother’s Day to my Auntie Quita! I think my Moms went to NYC to spend time with her and my Grandmoms. And Happy Mother’s Day to Auntie B and Cousin H whose house I stayed in New Jersey…
Wait!! Guys, I hear keys opening up the door! My Moms is home!! I mean Mother’s Day is basically over and NOW she shows up!! Well, guys! Gotta go!
Happy Mother’s Day to you all!