King Alfred Suffers From A Change In Routine

Hi Guys! It’s me again: KING ALFRED.

Alfred covers up smelly cat feeder

Sorry I’m late writing my weekly post. My moms took me to our house in Durham and my health went bad.

Moms changed up my diet and switched my cat litter.  I had a hard time.

First, she put me back on wet food. I haven’t eaten wet food in months. I mean I gave it up when I got to America and realized how great dry food was. Actually, Moms took me off wet food to save money.  Although I ate dry food back in Equatorial Guinea when my Moms left me with the mean lady at the US Embassy over Christmas 2010, it took some adjustment to go 100% to dry food. But, then I realized the beauty of it. No mess. No bad smell.

So, when my Moms gave me wet food again I was turned off by the smell. (Up top is  a picture of how I covered up my cat feeder because of the bad smell from the wet food.) Plus, it didn’t give me my “intense hairball protection” that comes in my quality dry food like I need.  At first, I didn’t eat it. Then I got really hungry. And, I ate it. That was a mistake.

“Alfred, what’s this brown stuff I see on the carpet?” My moms asked when she came back from her outing. “It looks like you either threw up your cat food or pooped it out all over my nice Oriental rug.”

I decided not to answer my Moms. It served her right for serving me that horrible no-name wet food.

“Alfred, this is horrible!  You’ve created quite a mess here.  But…. what…? What’s this floating in your mess?!”  Then my Moms did something really off the chain that grossed me out. She got down to the floor close up to examine what I had expelled on the carpet. But, I guess that’s what Moms do…?

“Look! It’s a giant hair ball! WOW! Little Man, you must have coughed up the world’s biggest hair ball. This is the size of a golf ball…”

Guys, I did feel better.

Then my Moms went to check out my litter box.

“Alfred…” Moms started, “You haven’t pooped at all since we got to Durham.  What’s wrong with you?”

It was true. I had stopped pooping. The litter in my box was so strong it was toxic.  It smelled like super strong laundry detergent. I would go in, dig around to settle myself to do my business. But, the fumes from the deodorant were too much for me, and I would have to come out with using the bathroom.  My cat litter was toxic and making me sick.

Moms picked me up to look at me. Then she smelled me. “Little Man, you smell stronger than a box of Tide detergent!  I’ll have to go out to get some all natural cat litter. This cat litter in your box is going to kill you.”

Few hours when my Moms got back from the grocery store she panicked when I didn’t meet her at the door.

“Alfred! Alfred! Where are you? Why aren’t you at the door to meet me like you usually are?” Moms said as she made a beeline into the house desperately calling my name and looking for me.

I felt so sick. So bloated. I couldn’t move.

“Alfred, there you are under the covers – like a little immovable ball.  You look dead!” Moms said, as I slowly moved my way down from the bed still underneath the covers. I looked horrible. “Let me get this new all natural cat litter- Egyptian Sands –  into your litter box!”

As soon as Moms finished putting the new cat litter into my box, I got into my hooded litter box and didn’t come out until 20 minutes later. I was all dusty and my coat was dull from the “all-natural” Egyptian sands. But, I felt like a new cat! My moms was overwhelmed with how much I had filled up the litter box.

“Wow, Little Man, you were really holding in your poop, weren’t you?  You must have been in a lot of pain. You just let it all out now. I can’t believe how much poop came out of you.”

Alfred By the Window

A few days later, my Moms took me back to the Homestead where I was able to go back to my normal routine. I went back to my old cat litter. Moms didn’t like how dusty my coat looked with all that all natural stuff.  And, I’m back on my dry food with hair ball protection. No more coughing up giant hair balls. No more holding in my poop. I’m back on the farm, living in peace. Just watching the tobacco grow.

I hope you guys are well and enjoying your routine.

KING ALFRED.

2 responses

  1. It is too bad King that you seem to be having a tough time adjusting to different food and variable living arrangements. It should be fun since life is not dull and never the same.

    I looked for you this past weekend when I came to the homestead and your moms said that you were under the bed spread. The first place that I checked was the pantry where you usually hang out, and when I did not see you there that is when I asked about you. We had a light put in the pantry so we could locate you which you may not have been too happy about. Just think, that pantry had no lighting in it since at least the 40s when that part of the house was built. I don’t remember how we found things, and I never heard a complaint!

    By the way, I saw the new kitchen tile – checkered board pattern – and I want to know what you think about it compared to the old floor covering. I understand that the pattern dates back to the 20s era. Yeah, really historic eh? You will definitely have to be more careful with your food and litter box in that upgraded kitchen floor. By the way, I saw what you left in your Moms car from litter and cat food in the Benz. Come on, how do you stand it? Any way, I would like to know what you think of the new Kitchen floor – and I hope it will be something that you will be elated about.

  2. ABSOLUTELY GROSS!! ALFRED YOU AND YOUR MOMS NEED TO BE PUT SOMEWHERE IN A GIANT LITTER BOX AND LEFT THERE!!

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