I’m sittin’ here in my DC townhome watchin’ the fireworks. (That’s my auntie Kim’s gift I’m sittin’ with in the picture… don’t laugh at me…) Guys, there’s nothin’ like being in our nation’s capitol for the 4th. You know what I mean?
My Moms took this great video of me enjoying myself against the backdrop of all the fire cracker noise and fireworks in our ‘hood. The noise began to get to me… but I was havin’ a good time.
I WAS ABANDONED BY MY MOMS!!
What kinda mom leaves her cat son behind – every year?! – on Mother’s Day? What’s up with that?!
Any way, it went something like this. There I was excited my Moms had come back alive from Kabul, Afghanistan. She was there like 7 days and had to take this 20-hour flight from Dubai.
I was flirting and all. See me in the picture below?
Then the next thing I know my Moms is telling me something like she was leaving again the next day Saturday after only 1 night with lovely ME. She was going to New York City where she’s been spending Mother’s Day every year like since 2011.
Well, guys, I lost it. I collapsed right there on the floor.
By late Saturday morning I was hostile. Tia Tierra came out of her room and went and sat on my chair.
I charged her. Lunged at her with all my might. That was my second time charging her. Actually, Tita didn’t realize my mother had left again until she saw my behavior. When I kept charging her she knew something was wrong. Tita knew I was mad because I had been abandoned. AGAIN!
“Okay! Okay! I’m getting out of your chair!” Tita shouted, terrorized. Then she went and called my Moms and tattled on me. Can you believe it, guys?! She told my Moms me that I was being mean. Well, I was in a bad mood!!
But, guess what, guys! Sunday, Mother’s Day came. And, my Moms called me! Tita answered the phone and let me speak to my Moms on Mother’s Day. So, I’m all better now. I’m over my bad mood. My Moms is coming home Monday!
Happy Mother’s Day!
Happy Easter, guys!
Moms had guests over – Auntie Bibi and her son, my Moms’ godson. We stayed with them in New Jersey back in 2012.
Remember, guys, when my Moms left me in our third-floor room all day and during the night I would prowl all over the house even going way downstairs to the basement where I would seek out “the dog” and torment him?! It was during Lent and I was really trying to be a better cat.
Any way! Not only did my Moms have guests over during Easter but Easter evening she took off again for Angola. This made it difficult for me to get out my Easter post.
Luckily, she made sure I got my Easter photo shots in before she left.
“Alfred… Alfred… Alfred!” That’s my Moms callin’ me, guys, as I lap up my nice cool water.
“Alfred, you hear me calling you! Stop ignoring me!”
My moms’ puts glasses of water all over the house ’cause neither me nor my Moms ever knows when I might get thirsty and need to take a sip or two… Back in Kigali and Malabo, I never drank water. My Moms was so worried she forced water down my throat especially when we were travelling. Now I’m drinkin’ water all the time. I just love me some water…
“Cat! You’re drinking way too much water! You’re going to the vet to be tested for diabetes!!”
And, with those words, guys, my entire cat life changed.
“Say W-H-A-T…??” I asked lifting up my cat head in bewilderment.
I got stuffed into the dreaded black carrying case and we left for the vet. Guys, I haven’t left my DC Townhome since October 9th, 2012 when my Moms moved back to Washington, DC from Durham.
Can you believe it?!
Well, let me tell you about my vet visit. Moms and I like to go to the Banfield cat hospital at PetSmart. But, ever since the place let Big Head take off and didn’t help catch him and movin’ to DC where the Banfield is far from our Townhome and the great reviews this vet place up street called Atlas was gettin’ on Yelp.com, my Moms decided to take me to Atlas. Yeah, that’s right, guys. Atlas on H street, NE.
My first time back in the Benz realizing I was being takin’ away from my home made empty my bladder right into my carrying case. Moms forgot to put my mini litter box in the carrying case. So, I stunk up the Benz. In the exam room, the vet put a towel over my head to try to calm me down. My moms’ was so nervous because she hadn’t taken me outside of my DC Townhome since Oct 2012 and I was so nervous – all of this made the vet and staff nervous, too! And my Moms is a spitfire when it comes to makin’ sure her Alfred (that’s me, guys!) gets the best of care.
Well, I was calming down when they stuck a needle into my leg to draw my blood!
That’s right, guys! Draw blood. Atlas wanted my blood for the diabetes test! And all these other tests like urinal infections, general cat disease, and – as my Aunt Bibi would say – “whatnot.” I DID NOT like that. It was so humuliating. There I was on the table covered in a towel with my furry cat leg stuck out with a catheter coming out drawing my cat blood. And it like took f-o-r-e-v-e-r…! I started growlin’ and hissin’.
On top of all of this, I got some kind of FIV (that’ HIV for cats) vaccination.
Afterwards, my Moms put me back into the my carrying case and we went home. I was so disoriented that when my Moms let me out of my cat case I headed back down the stairs to go out of the DC Townhome. But, I never ever go down the stairs. My Moms doesn’t let me. I was so confused.
I was gettin’ really sore from that shot they gave me and tired from all the excitement and drama. So, I went up on my King Ottoman and just stayed there. All night
I’m just waitin’ for my blood work to come back to find out if I had diabetes…
It’s me, Alfred. I just want to give a shout out to Big Head who took off for Cat Heaven a couple of months ago.
Big Head was like my cousin – or Step Cousin, something like that… Moms thought I didn’t know about him. But, I did. Moms had him at her house in Durham while she kept me in the DC Townhouse. She thought I’d never find out she had another cat besides me but I did because I could smell Big Head on my Moms’ suitcases and clothing when she came back from Durham.
Big Head was a ferral cat my Moms rescued back in September 2012. He had FIV (that’s feline HIV). Plus, the big guy had some odd disease that made his belly swell up real big and he was fighting a bad upper respiratory infection when my Moms took pity on him and let him come into the house. Everyone said Big Head was more affectionate and nicer than me. Traitors!! I was livin’ in the farm house at the time because to be honest one of the reasons I didn’t like that Durham house was because of Big Head. That cat was controlling the ‘hood and threatening me, even though I stayed inside the house. He got his name “Big Head” from the neighbor who used to always say, “What are you doing out here, Big Head?! Don’t nobody want you around…”
Well, my Moms wanted Big Head around. She and my Auntie April took care of him. Mostly, my Auntie April who lives in the Durham house. Big Head had never lived inside a house before but because he was so sick once my Moms took him in he almost never came back outside again. He just loved being inside the house and letting Auntie dote on him.
Well, about a few weeks ago, Big Head took off. Auntie April was pickin’ him up from the PetSmart vet where he got his monthly antibiotic shot because he was always sneezing and when his mucus got really thick and yellow, Moms and Auntie would take him in for his shot. His cage dropped and he bolted from the PetSmart and was never seen again.
I know Big Head went off to die. I saw his ghost. While I was sittin’ on my Moms lap on her bed I saw his ghost and started talkin’ to him. He wanted me to tell my Moms’ that he was okay in cat heaven and really appreciated her taking him off the streets and giving him a warm, loving home.
“Alfred, who are you talking to? Meowing to no one in the middle of the room while sitting here with me?”
“I’m talkin’ to Big Head, Moms. He wants you and Auntie April to know he’s okay. He appreciates you guys takin’ him in.”
“Oh. Okay. We’ll tell Big Head we miss him. But, we’re glad he spent his last year with us in the Durham house.”
My Moms and I have been good. But, there has been so much snow this year. The government shuts down and my Moms stays home. I like this ’cause you know my Moms is always travelin’ and leavin’ me home by myself or with some new Auntie or somethin’. Plus, you know I’m really good at helpin’ my Moms get her work done. I sit on the computer and she screams and I look at her like she’s lost her mind.
I mean what kind of Moms yells at her cat just because he does cat-like things?
Last week-end my Moms went back to North Carolina. I was happy to stay in the DC Townhome but boy was I glad when my Moms’ got back home.
Tita Tierra and I get along better now. I mean she’s awright, guys. She’s always so surprised when I become nice to her when my Moms is away because when my Moms is home I ignore her. Or hiss at her. I mean I’m a cat right? And that’s what I’m supposed to do.
Hey Guys! Happy Valentine’s Day!
I hope you have a Valentine as sweet as mine?
Roses are red. Violets are blue. My Moms is the best. I’m sure you guys knew.
Actually, this Valentine’s Day I’m home alone. Moms’ is some place in Africa. She did tell me before she left she would be away for a couple of weeks and I didn’t cry like I did when I got my flea medicine. But, we had such a great Christmas – even though I only got a couple of gifts thanks to Miss Kim – and there was the Martin Luther King Day celebration and Three Kings Day, too that I figured I could handle my Moms’ leaving me for a while.
So, guys what do you think about my Valentine’s Day poem? Do you think my Moms will like it? Is it better than last year’s?
Here’s me sleepin’ trying to forget I’m home all alone on Valentine’s Day. Well, actually, that’s not quite true. Tita Tiarra is home with me in the DC Townhome. We had lots of snow and she stayed home from work. She’s lookin’ after me while my Moms is gone. But, you know how I feel ’bout her, right…?
Any way… I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine’s Day and I’m lookin’ forward to writin’ you guys another blog soon.
It’s me Alfred. KING ALFRED. Guys, you know it’s Advent and all and right after I had that bad experience spending an entire day inside the teeny tiny laundry room closet my Moms leaves me again. Can you believe it?!
I could tell she was leaving when she pulled out her black suitcase. She was packin’ it up and all, and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I just knew my letter to Santa would never get written because my Moms is always never here to help me with it…
“Alfred… Alfred… Alfred!!”
“Yeah… Moms… err, Ma’am!”
“Alfred, what are you telling those so-called loyal fans of yours…? Are you complaining about me to them..? Why don’t you tell them something nice? Like how you helped me decorate the Christmas tree yesterday…”
Guys, I helped my Moms decorate the Christmas tree! It’s my third Christmas tree in my entire cat life. And I told my Moms what to do – and everything! Like which ornaments to put up and how to do it. Guys, this tree is great because it was a cheap reject tree from Home Depot, missing branches on the bottom. So, I can sit underneath the tree and look cool.”
I’m going to have the best Christmas ever! I just know it. With my tree and my Moms, I’m just the luckiest cat ever!
Here’s my first video showcasing the whole thing. PS My Moms asks me some dumb questions in the video that I don’t feel like answering..
It’s me Alfred! KING ALFRED.
“Now, Alfred, let’s put you inside the laundry room….” My Moms said as she scooped me up just as I was melting down into a sheer panic after hearing a knock on our DC townhouse door. I could hear the loud and heavy footsteps of men coming up the stairs and I knew Tita was in the kitchen. Trapped in the hallway, I panicked not having anywhere to hide.
You guys know that on our North Carolina farm I had the pantry to hide in.
But, in the DC Townhouse I usually hide in my Moms closet. I used to hide in the laundry room when guests I didn’t like came to visit my Moms. But, I stopped likin’ that and now I hide out closer to my Moms in her closet.
“But, Moms! Why do I have to go into the laundry room? I don’t like that.” I protested.
My Moms ignored me and she told Tita to be real still as she quickly pushed me into the dark laundry room. She knew I would freak out completely if Tita continued making her breakfast moving about like she owned the kitchen when I’ve been trying to tell her all this time that I’m the KING of the house and she’s not allowed to be in any room I go to.
Guys, as soon as I got inside that laundry room I started hearing all these loud male voices and I was so happy to be there safe and sound in the dark. But, I was still afraid. And lonely.
So, I was holding out. In the laundry room. Waiting for my Moms to chase those men away when I realized my Moms had left the house. Not only that, but, guys, HOURS went by and those men were kept drillin’ and hammerin’ and talkin’ real loud. I was so scared. So, so, so scared. Guys, I was all alone in the dark – like without my Moms and stuff. I was really panicked. I didn’t know what was happenin’
So, I stayed real quiet – hopin’ those construction people wouldn’t find me until my Moms got back to save me. But, hours kept going by and they were still there. I thought I would pass out. Yeah, guys, like pass out and die…!
Then like 7 hours later the noise stopped. But, I wasn’t going out there to see if the people had gone. I waited alone. All by myself. At 5 pm, I heard the front door open and I knew my Moms was back. Boy! I was so happy. But, I stayed in the laundry room until my Moms found me.
“Alfred! There you are! How are you, Little Man!” My Moms cried out as she opened up the door. The bright light from outside hit me and I could hardly see my Moms. Squinting, I meowed and purred so grateful she had rescued me yet once again.
Guys, I was so happy. Back in my Moms’ arms. I looked around and eventually jumped down to see what those construction men had done to our DC Townhouse while my Moms was away.
Guys, I didn’t see any big deal after all that commotion. They left all this dust and my Moms kept talkin’ about new lights and how great they were.
And, I almost had a cat heart attack over all that noise! Moms didn’t notice that!!
All I know is my Moms is back, those construction men are gone, and I’m free to roam the DC Townhouse as the King that I am.
It’s me! Alfred. KING Alfred.
Guys, it’s been like so hard these 2 months.
After I had my very first birthday party ever, my Moms and I were working on gettin’ my gifts to work and all and I just didn’t get a chance to write.
Then there was Halloween and I had a meltdown because my Moms’ wouldn’t let me go out trick or treatin’. Can you believe it?! She said I had to stay home to scare off the kids from comin’ up on our porch. I guess I shouldn’t complain because the dog next door had to wear a costume. At least my Moms didn’t dress me up or anything.
Then my Moms went off to Angola and left me with a cat sittin’ lady who lives in our basement. She’s a friend of Auntie Rae’s. But, I’m not likin’ her. So, I had a meltdown while my Moms was overseas. I like didn’t let the cat sittin’ lady come near me or in my Moms’ room.
That’s right! I didn’t let Miss Tiarra in any room where I was. So, if I was in the kitchen, she had to wait until I finished eatin’ my food and drinkin’ my water before she could use the kitchen… Or, else I charged at her hissin’ Yeah! You know that’s right!
Any way, guys… You know why I’m writin’? This is Thanksgiving! Okay, the day passed and I didn’t get to go out for Black Friday again like what happened back in 2011; I’m not going to mention that. I’m just going to talk about what I’m grateful for. Guys, you know what I’m most grateful for this year…?
It has been more than I year that I’ve been livin’ in the DC Townhouse and I haven’t ever left!
Yep! That’s right!
On, October 9th, I moved into our DC Townhouse and I haven’t gone outside once. Not once. Can you believe it?! After my Moms got me in Rwanda, then took me to the US where I got left in Ethiopia when I missed my connecting flight, then stayed in several houses in North Carolina and Washington, DC, including my Auntie Jacky’s house and went to Equatorial Guinea after that. In Malabo, I had like this horrible Christmas when my Moms left me at this mean lady’s house but luckily my Auntie Martina took care of me and then later my Moms and I came back to the US of A and we stayed on the family homestead, then moved to New Jersey and afterwards to Durham, with me going back and forth from Durham to the farm. And, now, guys, finally…finally, I’ve had a whole year where I’ve been in one place – not even a vet visit after some bad accident like getting poisoned or stung by a bee that happened to me over my 4 cat years of life.
So, this year, I’m grateful for never having to leave my beautiful new home in the DC Townhouse. And, I guess I’m also grateful all the Aunties who’ve taken care of me this year while my Moms’ was away – even the one I bit .
And, of course, I’m always grateful for my Moms! She continues to keep me as her cat even though I’m not perfect!
Happy Thanksgiving, Guys!
Okay, guys, before you read the title and give me a hard time about biting my Auntie, you gotta get my perspective on things!
I was stressed out the other day. My Auntie came to stay with me and my Moms. I recognized her. She’s the Auntie with the loud voice that scared me when she visited us over the summer. Moms only left me with her for a week-end, but I got kinda scared – you know the loud voice and all… But, I got used to her.
So, guys, when my Auntie Susie arrived I knew her and didn’t hide from her like I did the first time she came. After she settled in I jumped up on her lap. She’s always trying to be nice and all -trying to whisper to me instead of talking loudly like my Moms explained she should do. I was okay with it. But, I need boundaries, guys. Boundaries. Just because I let you pet me once – or twice – doesn’t mean I want your hand goin’ up and down my head and back all the time like that.
So, there I was in my Auntie’s lap and her hand was just a movin’ up and down my back and I was realizing that my Moms was probably gettin’ ready to go on another one of her ‘bizness’ trips and I would be left behind. I couldn’t take it. I just couldn’t take the idea of being without my Moms’ attention and affection for some unknown period of time and all. So, I growled and hissed and took a bite out of my Auntie’s hand.
“Alfred!! Alfred!!” Moms yelled. “Did you just bite your Auntie?!
“Right here in front of me?!” I froze. My Auntie took her hand away from my back and cradled it in her other handing looking embarrassed for the whole incident.
I knew I was in big trouble, guys. I didn’t move – hoping the bad situation would pass.
“Alfred, you cannot do that! You cannot bite your Auntie and have the nerve to stay here like nothing happened. Get your cat behind out of here!” My Moms hissed and T-H-A-C-K! My Moms whacked my scrawny cat behind and I ran outta there, guys. I knew I had done wrong and couldn’t take any more of it.
After a lot of back and forth between my Moms and my Auntie, things settled down and the two of them were just talkin’ like nothin’ had happened. So, I snuck back in the dining room and jumped up again on my Auntie’s lap.
Cuz, guys, I’m the KING. And, there’s no way I’m lettin’ 2 womenfolk stay by themselves without me.
So, guys, I had my 4th birthday party the other week-end.
It was okay…
Here’s my birthday picture with my Moms. Moms is all excited – wearing her East Africa shirt ’cause I’m from Rwanda. And, I’m copin’ a ‘tude. I’m just not feelin’ it…
Then, my Uncle J said grace. He thanked God for the food and friendship. But, he forgot to thank God for my birthday – for my turning 4!
Can you believe it?!
Luckily, my Moms intervened to remind him that the reason for our gathering was my birthday. Then Uncle J thanked the Lord for all the animals he put on the earth – including me!! So, I did get my birthday blessing after all.
Then it came time to eat. And, do you know what happened? My Moms’ guests ate my grilled fish. That’s right. Moms grilled the fish especially for me but everybody ate it. Moms forgot to give me some!
And you know what, guys?! My Moms forgot my number 4 birthday candle. So, when she brought out my birthday cake there were no candles. Just these cheesey matches! Isn’t that tacky?! Look at my birthday cake! Doesn’t it look lame?!
But, you know, guys, even though things turned out just “okay” I am so grateful I finally had my very first and very own birthday party!
Given to me by my Moms!
Happy Birthday to me!!
Last night I got so excited thinking about my party I threw up. Well, actually, I threw up because I ate my Moms basil plant. She said she was going to get me some cat grass today but I think all the running around she’s had to do to get ready for the party hasn’t given her any time to get me my grass.
I’ve been helpin’ my Moms with the party today. I was there when she grilled the ribs. I was there when she put the blue fish on the grill for me. I was there when the grill went up in flames and I told her to be careful because my birthday party wasn’t worth losing our DC town home over.
In the morning, I rested because my stomach still wasn’t feelin’ too good. I stayed snuggled in my Moms bed.
Right now I’m sittin’ in Moms’ favorite chair – it’s my KING chair. I’m not supposed to sit here but today I’m definitely THE KING.
Just gettin’ ready for my very first and very own birthday party…
Stay tuned for my next update when I tell you all about my gifts and the fun I had!
So, any way… I had a good day. What about you guys? I had a nice relaxing day watching my Moms do errands and run around the house to straighten the place up. I made sure she cleaned out my litter box. It was gettin’ pretty smelly in there. My Moms has been pretty lax in cleaning it up lately.
Maybe my Moms is mad that I don’t sleep with her any more. I mean now that I’m a big cat – you guys know I turned 4 this summer and I’m still waitin’ for my Moms to give me my birthday party – I like to sleep on my own in my favorite chair by the window. I used to have a whole room to myself but I can’t go in that room any more because it has to stay “cat-hair-free” for Grandmoms and guests. Also, I’m all used to my Washington, DC town home. I’m not movin’ around from one place to another like I was going from the farm to Durham and back and in my early life when I was livin’ all over Africa and stuff. I stay right here in the town home. In October, it will be a whole year without my ever leaving the DC town home. Can you believe it? And, I’m used to my Moms’ week-end traveling jaunts so I don’t need to sleep next to her out of fear of abandonment or due to a nightmare, caused by separation anxiety. I’m all over that now.
But, guys… I should let you know that I still need my Moms when I get sick. I got sick a couple of nights ago. There I was… sleeping all alone in my favorite chair like the Little Man I am. It was like after midnight or somethin’. I felt my stomach go bad and I got up to try to make it to my Moms’ room to let her know I was gettin’ ready to throw up. But, I didn’t make it. My whole little cat body was taken over by heaving.
“Alfred! Alfred! Is that you?! Are you sick?! What’s wrong, Little Man?!” My Moms came running out of her bedroom in sheer panic. “Little Man, did you eat something bad?! Are you poisoned or something?!”
I couldn’t even answer my Moms. I kept heaving – having lost complete control over my cat body. I felt like the world was going to end. I couldn’t even see my Moms but I heard her voice and was so grateful she was there to rush me to the Cat Emergency Room in case it was really bad.
Finally, it all came up.
“Alfred..? What’s that you just heaved up?”
But, before I could even take sniff of it and maybe a little taste to answer my Moms’ question and tell her what it was, I started heaving again. And up came more.”
“It’s all white…,Man. Your cat food is brown. Maybe it’s a hairball…? It must be a hairball. But, you’re eating your expensive, $20/bag, intense hairball control food every day now.” my Moms stated perplexed. “I hope you’re not going through a hairball mania phase like you did back on the farm. Oh well, let me clean it up and let’s go to bed.”
And, that, guys, has been the biggest event in my life these last few weeks.
Hope your Labor Day was hairball free..!
How’s your summer goin’?
I mean I’m gettin’ really used to my Moms leaving me at home all alone on the week-ends to go off on some jaunt while I stay home with a whole host of Aunties.
Guys, you wouldn’t believe all the aunties I’ve been havin’ this summer. They’re just comin’ and goin’. Well, you know there is Auntie A, she stayed with Moms and me for just over two months. Auntie A was like my sibling or something. She and I were always goin’ at it like brother and sister. She liked to pet me and when I let her she got to thinkin’ she could just pet any time she wanted. NOT. Auntie A was good company. I threw a hissy fit when she left. Moms came home and found me all worked up. Hey Auntie A! I wanna give you a shout out!
Then there is Auntie Rae Rae – my very first auntie in Rwanda who came to stay. I recognized her right away when she came a couple of weeks ago, and I jumped right up on her lap. It was like old times in Rwanda. She’s the one who saved me from my very first mishap. You guys know I’ve gone through a lot of my nine lives. Well, Auntie Rae Rae took care of me 24/7 when I ate my Moms medicine and lost my first life so to speak. Moms had to go back to the States and my Auntie nursed me back to life again – my second life.
Hey Auntie Rae Rae!! How’s it going?! I hope you got back safe to New York and are all ready for your grad school program. I miss you!
It’s been nice havin’ all my aunties this summer. Plus, all the guests Moms and I have had over for bar-b-qu’in parties like Auntie and Uncle J, my Auntie Kim and more… I’ve also been working on my solitaire. Look at me here playing my solitaire. I’m almost as good as my Moms.
The only thing I’m waitin’ for now is my birthday party. Can you guys remind my Moms that my birthday is over the summer and we have to do a celebration for me. I’m going to be 4 this year.
Guys! It’s me – Alfred. KING ALFRED.
My feelings are hurt. I wasn’t invited to my Moms’ Family Reunion this year! Can you believe it?! I’ve been invited to all the family reunions since I got to the States a couple of years ago. This time my Moms left me in Washington, DC and drove to North Carolina – to the Homestead where I’ve spent over 35% of my 4-year life! – to attend the family reunion with out me.
What do you guys do when your feelings get hurt?
I’m havin’ a real hard time forgettin’ about this and forgivin’ my Moms.
“Alfred… Alfred… Alfred!!”
“Are you telling your blog friends that you didn’t get to go to the family reunion this year and your feelings are hurt?”
“Well, did you tell your so-called fans that all your relatives asked about you? They all went back to the back of the Homestead house to the pantry where you liked to stay to look for you and double check that you really weren’t there…?
“I’m gettin’ to that part, Moms… Let me tell the story my way!”
So, guys, I know some of you thought I wrote on my blog that I wasn’t comin’ to this year’s family reunion. But, I didn’t do that. Actually, I had my bags all packed up to go to the Homestead for the family reunion. It was a real rude shock when my Moms didn’t come get me. I can’t lie, guys, I cried when I got left behind.
But, I had my Auntie to keep me company and my Grandmoms’ had some friend come visit and stay with us. It was exciting. But, it’s not the same thing as getting to go to family reunion but I made do. Grandpops thought I was comin’, too…
Moms told me everyone had a good time. I’m glad. Just make sure you tell my Moms to invite me next year so I can support the family and know my position in the family and upholding the family pride.
Yours in family unity
Happy 4th of July!
I hope you all are up late watchin’ the fireworks and all… Here in DC they’re like fabulous. Of course, my Moms didn’t let me go see them but everyone in our ‘hood is shooting off fireworks and firecrackers. I never got to see fireworks on the farm. (My picture is from my July 4th celebration on the farm.) And, of course in Rwanda and Equatorial Guinea we didn’t celebrate the 4th of July.
So, did you guys eat a lot of barbque today?!
Moms and me grilled so much stuff on our little barbque grill today! I couldn’t believe it! First, my Moms wasn’t even going to celebrate. But, I told her that I had never had a real 4th of July and she had been away so long on one of her overseas trips that I deserved something special. So, my Moms agreed to grill some ribs. But, I wasn’t satisfied. I wanted some grilled fish.
Lately my Moms has been cookin’ fresh fish for me – ever since she got back from her trip in Malaysia and I stayed with my Auntie April and a new Auntie who’s stayin’ with us for the summer in DC. I really like the fish and I thought it would be nice if my Moms grilled me some on the grill.
Guys! Grillin’ is great! I mean all the smoke (my Moms isn’t great with the charcoal and lighting fluid and things get really smoky), the sizzle, the tender meat, all of it! I love it. I love the 4th of July! I mean this is what independence is all about, right?! Being independent and grilllin’ it your way. Just like my Moms: an Independent Lady. So, my Moms and her friends ate their barbque ribs and I ate my fish.
Well, guys. I gotta go! My barbque fish is waitin’ for me!
Hope you guys have a happy 4th!
It’s me. Alfred. KING ALFRED.
Guys, last week, I did my 2013 Mother’s Day Shout Out. But, you know there’s been something that’s been bothering me since way before Mother’s Day. I didn’t want to tell you because I was embarrassed ’bout it.
Like, I’ve got this flea problem. I know I’ve had problems like this before. But, this time it’s real bad.
I had been scratching a lot and then the week before Mother’s Day my Moms came after me.
“Alfred, you haven’t had a flea treatment since we’ve been here in the DC Townhouse. I think the last time you had one was back in Durham,” my Moms told me.
“Yeah.. Like whadda ’bout it…?” I mumbled, dismissing my Moms.
“Well, I’m beginning to itch, and I think the whole bed has been taken over by fleas…!” My Moms said, her voice rising and her body coming after me. Suddenly, she lunged after me quickly, scoping me up. “Come here, KING! It’s time to get your flea medicine!”
“W-H-A-T-?-?-!/” I yelped.
I was taken by surprise!
Oh no! Not the flea medicine!
Guys, that stuff hurts.
“Now, just hold still, Alfred, and it will all be over,” Moms told me firmly.
Guys, I’m so embarrassed, but I cried. I cried when my Moms gave me my medicine. You know I put one of my new pictures up so you could see me lookin’ so brave but sometimes I’m not. I’m not brave. Like when my Moms gives me my flea medicine. It hurts so much.
Well, it has been like 2 weeks since my Moms gave me the treatment. But, she didn’t get my regular prescription but some kinda over the counter stuff. And, guys, like I’m still scratching. So is Moms. Last week, it got so bad that my Moms stripped the bed and washed everything – even our down comforter and all our pretty feather pillows that lay all over Moms’ bed. And, she put everything the in the dryer for like hours, guys.
“Alfred, this isn’t working. I’ve given you flea medicine. I’ve stripped down the bed and literally boiled the bedding and let it go through the dryer for hours. I’ve vacuumed all the floors and taken tons of clothing to the dry cleaners. I’ll have to invest in a super duper vacuum cleaner, too.
The only thing more I can do is re-give you your flea medicine. This time the prescription strength. So, I’ll have to take my Sunday afternoon and go to Banefield to get your prescription strength medicine.”
“Say W-H-A-T-??!! Not again!!”
Guys! I’m outta here!
Hi Guys! It’s me. Alfred – Yes! KING ALFRED.
I want to give a special S-H-O-U-T O-U-T to all you Moms out there! Happy Mother’s Day!
How you all doin’?! You all havin’ a good Mother’s Day?
I know you’re out there enjoying all your children – especially after working hard for them like my Moms has worked hard since October 2009 for me. I know your kidz went through a lot of trouble to show you how much you mean to them, and I know you made sure you spent time with them today – like my Moms!
Well – I’m here in our DC townhouse waiting for my Moms to show up so I can show her all the great and special things I’ve done for her for Mother’s Day. Like I cleaned up my litter box. I mean I cleaned up all those little gravelly pieces I like to kick out my poop box and that end up all over the floor and then between my Moms’ toes. I also swept up the litter pieces from the bed. You know they end up in my toes, too, and I like to bring them into the bed in between the covers and all over the place.
Yeah, Guys! I cleaned all that up. And I made sure I didn’t drop any cat food or kick litter into my water dish. That really grosses my Moms out. I don’t know why. I did all of that because my Moms is so great.
I mean I know she leaves me alone a lot. Like abandons me to these random people she calls “aunties.” You guys remember the last Auntie that came over? Not the one who just left but the one who was allergic to me? I mean how can a lady who’s allergic to me be my Auntie? And then there were all the uncles. Those uncles scare me. I mean why does my Moms make me have family who terrify me?
But, that’s okay. My Moms does other stuff for me like buy me expensive cat food. The kind that costs like 3 times the price of regular cat food. She gets it for me because I need a special hair ball express kind or something like that. It breaks her budget but she says I’m worth it.
Okay. Never mind that my Moms rations off my cat food in a special battery-powered “cat food feeder” that only gives me enough food to survive on so she can save money. Never mind I often go to bed hungry and have to beg her to give me just a little bit more food to stop the hunger pains and when she does she gives me this cheap kind that costs way less. But, Guys! I like the cheap kind too – Fancy Feast – it’s not that cheap – but it doesn’t give me my hair ball protection like I need.
Plus, my Moms is so great ‘cause she’s always hauling me off to the vet when I get sick even though I’m a real handful – as Grandpops says – because I hate riding in the Benz and I usually have to urinate right when we get in the car. But, my Moms always takes care of my health. She’s always worried something is wrong with me.
Never mind my Moms nearly killed me when she put that toxic flea collar on and didn’t realize that my eyes were glassing over because I was going into shock. And the time I ate medicine and she took off for some long-term overseas trip and I couldn’t open my eyes or walk or move and my Auntie Rachel stayed by side 24/7…
Hey! Hey! Hey! Auntie Rachel! Happy Mother’s Day! You’re a Moms, too! And my Tia Martina! Como estas, Tia?! Ahora eres madre tambien! Feliz dia de las Madres! And Auntie April, my last Auntie I became horribly attached to that Ms. Susie didn’t believe I actually let hold me. There’s a picture of proof there!
And my Auntie Jacelyn from Rwanda and my Auntie Stephanie and her children I knew in Rwanda when I was doin’ my kitten years and who came to visit me in the DC Townhouse last month– a Big Happy Mother’s Day to her and my Auntie Alyson and my Auntie Cousin Christine, whose house I stayed in after my Moms and Mr. August rescued me from the airport ‘cause I missed my connecting flight. I got left in Addis Ababa. I left tons of litter in Cousin Christine’s house. I hope she forgave me. Happy Mother’s Day!
Happy Mother’s Day to my Auntie Quita! I think my Moms went to NYC to spend time with her and my Grandmoms. And Happy Mother’s Day to Auntie B and Cousin H whose house I stayed in New Jersey…
Wait!! Guys, I hear keys opening up the door! My Moms is home!! I mean Mother’s Day is basically over and NOW she shows up!! Well, guys! Gotta go!
Happy Mother’s Day to you all!
It’s me Alfred. KING ALFRED!
Guys, have you noticed that my Moms has been recycling pictures for my posts?
She keeps using the same ole same ole pictures.
Haven’t you wondered why she’s doing that? Don’t you wonder what I look like now that I’m living in Washington, DC? I mean I’ve been really embarrassed when Moms finishes editing my blog bringing you my latest and greatest thoughts on all the adventures I’m havin’ and then she goes and puts up some old photo that she’s shown you like a gazillion times.
Well, the reason my Moms has been doing this is because she lost her camera. Moms didn’t want you all to know about this. She says I’m not supposed to tell my fans about any issues she’s having. (But, it’s okay for you all to know all about my issues, right?)
Any way… ! And, because my Moms is so cheap (you all know how cheap my Moms is, right?) she didn’t want to go out and buy another camera. She didn’t prioritize me and my blogs and my need to connect with all my fans out there in blogsphere using updated pics. (I won’t mention the problem of my Moms not posting me to YouTube… I mean like how is my career going to take off??)
Can you believe it?!
So any way, Moms found out that she could get a camera at her job – like an iphone or somthin’ – and she signed up for that program. Now she can take pictures again.
So, here I am!!
I’ve been trying to pose for the camera.
But, Moms says I’m not “actin’ right.”
What do you think?
Are my pictures any good? Are they capturing my new lifestyle? Do I look presidential here in the nation’s capitol?
Guys, you know not getting any new pictures for a really long time hurt my feelings. You know how sensitive I am. I’m trying deal with it. I’ve conquered my anger management and separation anxiety issues. Now, I’m working on trying to get over the Easter Bunny dissing me. So, I’ll just add this issue to my new list.
Guys, you won’t believe whatta difficult Sunday I’ve had. I mean my Moms just wouldn’t let up on me. She wouldn’t cut me any slack.
You see my Moms left the door of the guest bedroom open, and I just had to go in and explore. This used to be my room before my Moms closed it off for Grandmoms who’s allergic to cats. So, I went into the bedroom just to see if it felt as great as it used to. And, guys, it did. Being in the guest bedroom – my room! – felt great. Just great! So, I did what I usually do and got up on the couch and fell asleep. Yeah… I took me a nice cat nap.
“Alfred! Alfred! Alfred!” my Moms started yelling. “Where are you?! I know you’re not up in that guest bedroom now.”
I went real quiet and didn’t say anything. I was hoping my Moms wouldn’t know where to find me, if I held real, real still and didn’t meow or anything.
But, she found me.
“Alfred! There you are! Sleeping on the guest bedroom couch! How many times do I have to tell you not go into that room and leave your cat hair all over the place?!”
Geesh! Can’t a cat get any kinda of peace on a Sunday afternoon? Any respect?
So, that blew it for my cat nap.
Then, guys, I look up and guess what? My moms had some guest in the house. Can you believe it?! Like another auntie or somethin’.
“Alfred, come say hello to your Auntie Margaret.”
Well, I hid for a while but after such a great experience with my last auntie I thought I’d come out and say hello.
“Oh no, Dee, I’m allergic to cats. I don’t think I can have Alfred around me, ” this new auntie announced.
What – ?! Guys, did you hear that? Like, I’ve now got an auntie who’s allergic to me. What kind of auntie is that?!
In the early evening, the new auntie left, and I went into the kitchen to get a snack. I was crunching on my Fancy Feast Dry when my stomach didn’t feel so good.
Uh oh! I had to barf. I started choking and coughing up my Fancy Feast. It came up right when my Moms came running into the kitchen screaming about was I okay or something. You know how Moms get. I took a look at what I had coughed up and then decided I should taste it.
“A-L-F-R-E-D-!! Don’t you eat that!!”
And, with that, guys. I took off. I ran as fast as I could from my Moms. There was no way she was going to mess up my Sunday afternoon any more than she already had…
Hope you guys had a good Sunday afternoon!
It’s me, Alfred. KING Alfred.
Guys, like you know, I’ve been waiting for the Easter Bunny. But, he hasn’t come yet.
Can you believe it?!
Do you think he forgot me? Like do you think he “diss’ed” me?
I asked my Moms to google his address so I can write ‘em and let him know that I’m still waiting for him to bring me my Easter basket.
Here’s the address below. Could you guys write, the Easter Bunny, too, and ask him if he’s still comin’ or if he really is “dissing” me?
Mr. Harry E. Bunny
1400 Cottontail Dr.
Rabbitville, MO 64151
Hi Guys… It’s me. Alfred. King Alfred.
All that shouting up above is from me. I had an emotional meltdown over Easter. My Auntie and my Moms left me all by myself in the house. I couldn’t take it.
You see my Moms left me for like a month or somethin’ when she went to Angola in Africa for work. She sent me a new Auntie – Auntie April – to stay with me while she was away. At first, I didn’t like this new Auntie. You guys know how I get. I still have anger management issues. So, I hissed at her, hid from her and refused to acknowledge her presence. But, my Auntie April stayed so sweet with me, talking quietly to me and even buying me new toys to make me play with her.
Then one day – like a week or so after my Moms had left me – I couldn’t take the lack of affection and all my Auntie’s sweet talk was getting to me. So, I just lept up on to her while she was working on her computer and the plopped my little cat body into her lap. After that day I started following her all around the house, sleeping on the bed with her… I even got under the covers with her when she didn’t know it because I needed affection. But, don’t tell my Moms about this ’cause it might hurt her feelings…
Then my Moms showed up – back from Africa. I was like, “Who are you?” I gave her the cold shoulder for a while. I mean like who did she think she was walking off like that and then showing up again? Well, the next day I was back to my old self and realized my Moms was back and I was like SO HAPPY!
I realized “Wow! I hit the jackpot!” I have an Auntie and a Moms. I was running back and forth between my Moms’ room and my Auntie’s room. I was playing with Auntie then purring with my Moms. I mean like how great is that?
I wrestled the computer from my Moms when she got back and started jotting down some notes for my blog. I was preparing for the Easter Bunny’s arrival and just enjoying life. You know.
Then B-A-M!! It was all over!
I got up one day, guys, and both my Moms and my auntie were gone! I was back in the house alone again! I couldn’t believe it!
So, when my Moms got home the other day just before Easter I had an emotional melt down. How could my whole little cat world come crashing down like that?
Wells, guys… That’s my update.
I’m going back to wait for the Easter Bunny. He hasn’t gotten here yet. He’s like late…
I’m back! And, just in time for Valentine’s Day, right!?
Whatcha guys been up to while I was… while I was… was… Like on vacation?!! I know I’ve been away for a long time. Like months. And, actually, I wasn’t on any kinda vacation. My Moms was too busy with her new job in DC and her new life to help me with my blog. Can you believe it? How selfish is that? Like she didn’t even give me a chance to write you all and tell you Merry Christmas or Happy New Year or anything!
At least I can tell you Happy Valentine’s Day!
I hope you all have lots of chocolates. My Moms is organizing her 18th Annual Single Ladies Valentine’s Day Dinner at a restaurant and then she’ll come back, and I’ll give her my Valentine.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
My Moms the best,
and guys… so are you!
Happy Valentine’s Day from, me KING ALFRED.
And I wanna give a special shout out to my friends in Iowa! And my aunties from Rwanda! I love ya all!
“Moms! Moms! Let me peel the apples for the pie! Let me peel them!”
“Yeah, Moms! Just like I did last year. Remember what you said? You said I was a big help!”
“That’s right, Alfred. You were a big help. You ran up and down the homestead hallway every time I took something out of the refridgerator for the pies. You were so excited. And, yes, you did help me make great pies.”
“Yeah. That’s right! I was a big help!”
“Well, we’ll finish putting together the apple pie, and then we’ll work on the pumpkin pies. I’ll bake the pumpkin pies here. But, I’ll bake the apple pie at the Homestead.”
“W-H-A-T?! You’re going back to the Homestead?! What about me? You’re gonna leave me here?! I wanna go back to the Homestead, too..!”
“Well, Alfred, it’s Thanksgiving, and I need to get the pies to the neighbors in Durham and then to Detroit. You know…”
“What, Moms?! You’re leaving me here for Thanksgiving?! Just like you did last year?! I thought Thanksgiving was for family?! Aren’t I family? Remember my second Thanksgiving when you went to the Ambassador’s for Thanksgiving in Equatorial Guniea and you left the evening early to make sure I got my turkey while it was still hot….?! Remember that?! Do you remember? What happened to those days when we used to spend Thanksgiving as a family?!”
“Alfred.. Alfred… yes, of course, I remember. But, you know when I’m in the States I have to Grandmoms’ for Thanksgiving. And, you don’t like to travel. Plus, Grandmoms is allergic to you and then there’s the extra cost for your ticket…”
“Moms… Moms.. What’s that sharp noise? You know I don’t like loud shrill noises.”
“Why, it’s the smoke alarm, Alfred.”
“Moms, are you burning up the pies again just like you did last year? Remember the whole kitchen was covered in smoke and I thought the fire department…”
“Afred. Alfred. A-l-f-r-e-d!! Stop all those stories. Your readers don’t want to hear you tell all your exagerations! You know the smoke alarm went off because crust from the pie dropped in the oven and burned causing the place to get a little smoky. You were never in danger. Why are causing such a commotion…?
Guys, I gotta go help my Moms finish the pies before she burns down the house. I hope you and your family have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
FROM THE KING….!
How’s it goin’?! It’s me the King! King Alfred. I just want to give a shout out to all my peeps and let you know my Moms and me survived Hurricane Sandy.
How about you?!
Did you survive?
Give me a shout out and let me know how y’all are doin’.
My Moms moved me to Washington, DC so I wasn’t on the farm during the storm. I wasn’t happy to leave my home. But, I think I told you all that I thought my Moms was up to somethin’. Like getting ready to move us.
But, I’ll tell you all about that the next time I write. I’ve been sleeping a lot through the storm. Guys, it was stressful. I mean all that rain and wind. I thought Moms’ townhouse was going to blow away or somethin’. Then in the middle of the big hurricane evening my Moms left me to go have dinner with her friends.
“Alfred. Alfred. A-L-F-R-E-D!!”
“Yeah… Moms. ‘Ma’am”
“Are you back on that computer? Go finish unpacking your toys and then you can get back on write all ‘your peeps.'”
So, guys! I gotta go! I hope your clean up isn’t too bad after the storm!
Hi Guys. It’s me K.A. I’m having a hard time these days. Things aren’t going exactly how I’ve planned.
Things had already been goin’ pretty badly for me. I didn’t think they could get any worse. But, they did.
So, like I’ve been out here on the farm by myself for a month while my Moms rehabs houses in Durham. She even moved us to another house. So, now my Moms spends the night with me every other night. Do you know how hard this is on me only seeing my Moms every other night? And, when I see her she wants to go to sleep. She has no time to play with me. She comes home and crashes! There’s like no play time! In the morning, I beg her not to go… Guys, it’s been really tough.
But, my Moms knows how stressful moving is for me, and how I can’t stand contractors and noise. So, in a way, I’m really grateful to be here on the farm.
But, then as you know, Moms keeps the computer with her in Durham. So, I haven’t been able to stay on top of my blog. Moms has been pushing me to keep my blog up so I can turn it into a book or somthin’ like that. You know: To make money. My Moms is always pushing me to make money.
Plus, I haven’t been able to run my campaign properly for The Triangle’s Most Adorable Pet Contest. I mean, guys, how can I run a serious campaign when I don’t even have a computer and the cell phone doesn’t work out here on the farm? Is that fair? It’s impossible! It doesn’t make any sense. I feel like Mitt Romney. Out of control!
And, I was only entering the dumb contest because my Moms said I have to do more to make money to earn my keep. Moms said my cat food and litter stuff are really expensive and she shouldn’t be expected to pay for all of this on her own. And, guys, I told her that she was the one who wanted a cat. I didn’t ask her to be my Moms. She came and stole me! Remember that?! Check out this past blog of mine that tells you ‘bout all the details! So, she should be responsible for paying for all my stuff, right? I can’t help it that I like my litter box clean and so my Moms has to buy like 3 times as much litter as the ordinary cat needs. This need to earn money is really stressing me out!
But, guys, then I got the news that I didn’t win the contest. That really hurt. I know you all were really voting and routing for me, and I appreciate it. But, I didn’t make it. I was really sad… and embarrassed. I mean what kind of real cat loses a contest that is as stupid as “Most Adorable Pet Contest”? It was really hard to face my Moms. I hid from her for a day or 2 and tried to cut down on my food intake and using the litter box to reduce costs. But, then I had to come out and face her when she told me that she was going to Paris.
W-H-A-T?! PARIS? What about me?! Me. K.A. Your cat!
But, guys she did it. She left me. She went off to Paris because she got some kind of new job.
“And, Alfred, we’re going to be moving to Washington, DC when I get back. So, while I’m away you better pack up all your toys and stuff, “ my Moms told me as she was walking out the door, leaving me all alone.
WASHINGTON, DC…??!! What about my home? The farm? My cat sitter? I’m happy here. I don’t want to move! What did I do wrong?! I’ll do better at earning my keep! Really.
So, guys, I’ve been toughing it out here on my own on the homestead for like 5 days. The cat sitter comes every day. I don’t resent and hate her like I used to. Guys, you’ll be glad to know that I’m appreciative of my cat sitter because I know she really loves me even when I hiss at her. Now, I don’t hide from her. I come out and rub up against her because I’m missing my Moms so much and all I want is for my Moms to come back and pick me up and hold me. The cat sitter tries to pet me but I’m not havin’ none of that! Only my Moms can touch me and pick me up. Nobody else can.
Guys…! Moms is coming home today. I’m so happy!!
And, I’m all ready. My litter box is clean. My toys are all packed. I’m all ready for my Moms!
I’m going to be the best cat ever!
Just wait and see!
Today is the last day to vote for me in The Most Adorable Pet Contest! I’m number 257 out of 293 entries. That’s because my Moms entered me late.
He’s my picture that Moms used to get me my votes.
Moms tried to post a little widget for you guys to click on and go right to voting. But, you guys know how bad her computer skills are.
Any way, guys! Here’s the link for you to vote for me!
How are you, guys?!
Sorry I haven’t written in a really long time. My moms took me back to the homestead and left me there without a computer. I don’t know how she thinks I’m going to write without a computer. She keeps pushing me to write and all talkin’ about how I need to keep practicing so I can write a book and earn my keep and all. And, then she walks off with the computer.
Can you believe it?!
So, I’m up here all alone and unable to write my posts. But, I’m lucky that my Moms comes back during the evenings to stay with me. She gets back too late – like around 11 pm or something – to help me with my blogs.
Moms is working on rehabbing another house in Durham and moving into it. Moms knows I stress out during moves. Also, I don’t like to be around a lot of construction and confusion so that’s why I’m here on the homestead.
I’m very happy here even though my Moms isn’t here. I like watching the tobacco grow and all.
Now that’s some beautiful tobacco, isn’t it?!
Moms says that we’re going to move again soon to Washington, DC. So, there’s no need for me to get used to another house in Durham if we’re going to move to the capital. I’m kind of nervous about this because we won’t stay with my Auntie J like we did when we came from Rwanda. Moms says we’re going to stay there for a long time. In the house she lived in before she moved to North Carolina. Before she met me and I became her cat. I don’t like the idea of my Moms having a past that doesn’t involve me.
I’m getting together all my toys so I’ll be prepared.
Guys, thanks for all your birthday wishes! I really appreciate it.
In the end, I didn’t have a a birthday party. My Moms forgot. Can you believe it? What kind of Mom forgets their own cat’s birthday? There we were at the Homestead with all the family and I was just waiting for my Moms to bring out my birthday cake . But, it never happened. Guys, I really wanted that birthday cake. And I wanted all of you there to celebrate with me and eat my cake. I know. I know. I don’t eat cake. Cats don’t eat cake. But, I was so lookin’ forward to having a cake with my name on it. Alfred. KING ALFRED.
I’m trying to get over it.
I’m trying to focus on getting everyone to VOTE FOR ME in the Most Adorable Pet Contest! Vote here.
Guess what! Moms entered me into a contest!
Can you believe it?!
If you read my Facebook page you know all about it. I don’t think I’ve tweeted about it, but any way… you all know now.
So, all you have to do is click on this link below. Leave a comment about how great I am. Voting goes from September 3 – 28. Vote for me!
My picture is the best, don’t you think?! I’m running to be a part of the Adorable Pet Calendar contest here in the Durham Triangle area. It like helps animals in need. I mean I would be in need, too, if Moms hadn’t gotten me 3 years ago.
Speaking of which, I think my birthday party is all set for the Sunday after this one. You’re all invited. Make sure you come. My Moms and I are going to be holding it at the homestead. But, if you can’t make it, you can always send me a birthday card.
It’s me. The King again. What do you think of my portrait? It’s great, right?
Remember my January 6th post about how my Moms couldn’t bring back all my gifts that my Grandmoms got for me? All my Christmas loot. Well, one of the gifts I got was my portrait.
Take a look at it. I’m pretty lucky, aren’t I?
My Moms put it up on the wall in our Durham House. Grandmoms got the portrait done in Auburn, California at the the Auburn Old Town Gallery when she went to visit our Cousin Anita whose an artist there. A lady artist named Miss Linda did my portrait based on a picture that my Grand moms gave her. You can contact them if you want to have your portrait done, especially if you have a special cat, like me, in your life.
I didn’t even know my Moms was sending out my picture to all my family members. I mean I’m kinda sensitive about that. Like, I don’t have the same traits my Moms and other family members have. I have spots. My Moms doesn’t have any spots and neither do any of our other family members. I have fur and paws and a few other differences, but otherwise I’m just like my Moms. Don’t you think?
We both like fried chicken, and we like to get up early in the morning. Plus, we lived in Rwanda and no one else in the family has done that. Just my Moms and me.
I’m so happy ’bout my picture. I look great. My grandmoms is great for getting it for me, and my Moms is great.
My Moms is always great…
It’s me. The KING. I’m writing to invite you to my birthday party. I’m planning it out now. I haven’t set a date ’cause as you know my Moms doesn’t know the exact date of my birth. So, I’m leaving it open. Actually, I’m waiting for all my guests to let me know when they’re free.
This year is a big year for me. I’m going to turn 3. My Moms keeps forgetting about my birthday and party and all. I think she’s still mad at me for leaving my litter box in the Benz.
“Yeah, Moms… I mean Ma’am”
“Are you on that computer again?! What did I tell you about getting on the computer when you haven’t cleaned out your litter box?!”
“Actually, I thought you said you were going to clean it out this evening, and you know I have to plan for my birthday party.”
“Birthday party…? What…? Oh yeah… your birthday party! Of course…”
Jeez! What kinda Moms forgets their own children’s and pets’ birthdays…?
So, guys, let me know what day you think I should have my party. I know my Auntie C’s birthday is in August. So, I want to give her first dibs on what day I should plan for.
How’s it going? Boy, it sure is hot down here. That’s why I haven’t been writing. Heat stroke…
You guys know from my other posts that I’m a regular southerner now – like I even answer my Moms “Ma’am” when she calls me. But, I still haven’t gotten used to these Southern summers. Moms and I are down in Durham and it has gotten as hot as like 110 F. Really! Moms cranks up the air conditioning, but it never gets really cold inside our house.
I try to stay hydrated. My moms is always filling up my water glass – yeah, that’s right; my Moms gives me a regular glass (actually it’s crystal – from TJMAX) to drink my water out of because I don’t like those dumb cat bowls.
Since I moved to Durham I haven’t been able to get my sleeping right. I keep my Moms up all night running and racing around the house. I know you are thinking, “Hey, King. Now that’s not right. Your Moms needs her sleep.” I read your snarky comments about how I need to try to help out my Moms more and all…
But, really, guys. I miss Nash County. I miss the homestead and the farm. The space. The fresh air. Even all the wild animales. So, I can’t sleep at night.
This year we’re growin’ tobacco on the homestead. My Moms and I visit the farm during some week days. I’m attaching a picture of our crops so you can see how they’re doin’.
On the 4th of July migrant workers came and picked the blooms off the tobacco. My Moms and I couldn’t believe they didn’t get the day off.
Well, guys, stay cool!
I promise to write again soon!
My Moms has been reading all the brouhaha on Ann-Marie Slaughter’s article Why Women Still Can’t Have It All, published in The Atlantic. Have you guys been keeping up on this as well?
Well, my Moms wants to use my blog space to explain Why Can’t Owners Can’t Have It All. Can you believe it?
“Hello, Loyal King Alfred the Cat Readers. This is Alfred’s Mom. I just want to share with you all – especially those of you who are cat owners – why I feel that after all these years, we Cat Owners still can’t have it all.
“Yes, clumping litter has reduced the time we have to spend cleaning out litter boxes. And, of course, hairball control formula cat food has meant that we don’t have to watch our beloved pets suffer from coughing up hairballs – and we don’t have to step in all that hairball mess either. And, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention how beneficial those cat feeders and water fountains have been for our cats’ health. But, we still cannot expect to have the time and energy we need to make our little ones happy and maintain an ambitious career at the same time – not to mention giving sufficient time to a human family.
“I am one of the few lucky ones. I only have my little Alfred to take care of in addition to a career. I don’t have a human family. But still I find that I have to cut back on my work hours to make sure my Alfred’s physical and mental health are in good shape. Sometimes I ask myself how can I succeed in both taking care of Alfred and excelling in my career. I mean someone has to be home when Alfred’s litter box gets too dirty for him to use. And someone has to get up in the middle of the night when Alfred starts wandering around the house yowling out of loneliness.”
Moms… Moms… Stop!! You gotta stop right there. I can’t believe you’re saying all those ridiculous things. You make it sound like I’m some kind or burden or something. You’re embarrassing me.
“Alfred, you just don’t understand. You don’t have a cat of your own. You simply don’t understand the sacrifice it takes to raise you as a loving and affectionate cat. It takes hard, dedicated work. It’s not a job for just anyone…”
Okay, Guys… I’m going to have to stop right here. My Moms – as usual – is outta control!!
See ya next week!
Hi Guys! It’s me again: KING ALFRED.
Sorry I’m late writing my weekly post. My moms took me to our house in Durham and my health went bad.
Moms changed up my diet and switched my cat litter. I had a hard time.
First, she put me back on wet food. I haven’t eaten wet food in months. I mean I gave it up when I got to America and realized how great dry food was. Actually, Moms took me off wet food to save money. Although I ate dry food back in Equatorial Guinea when my Moms left me with the mean lady at the US Embassy over Christmas 2010, it took some adjustment to go 100% to dry food. But, then I realized the beauty of it. No mess. No bad smell.
So, when my Moms gave me wet food again I was turned off by the smell. (Up top is a picture of how I covered up my cat feeder because of the bad smell from the wet food.) Plus, it didn’t give me my “intense hairball protection” that comes in my quality dry food like I need. At first, I didn’t eat it. Then I got really hungry. And, I ate it. That was a mistake.
“Alfred, what’s this brown stuff I see on the carpet?” My moms asked when she came back from her outing. “It looks like you either threw up your cat food or pooped it out all over my nice Oriental rug.”
I decided not to answer my Moms. It served her right for serving me that horrible no-name wet food.
“Alfred, this is horrible! You’ve created quite a mess here. But…. what…? What’s this floating in your mess?!” Then my Moms did something really off the chain that grossed me out. She got down to the floor close up to examine what I had expelled on the carpet. But, I guess that’s what Moms do…?
“Look! It’s a giant hair ball! WOW! Little Man, you must have coughed up the world’s biggest hair ball. This is the size of a golf ball…”
Guys, I did feel better.
Then my Moms went to check out my litter box.
“Alfred…” Moms started, “You haven’t pooped at all since we got to Durham. What’s wrong with you?”
It was true. I had stopped pooping. The litter in my box was so strong it was toxic. It smelled like super strong laundry detergent. I would go in, dig around to settle myself to do my business. But, the fumes from the deodorant were too much for me, and I would have to come out with using the bathroom. My cat litter was toxic and making me sick.
Moms picked me up to look at me. Then she smelled me. “Little Man, you smell stronger than a box of Tide detergent! I’ll have to go out to get some all natural cat litter. This cat litter in your box is going to kill you.”
Few hours when my Moms got back from the grocery store she panicked when I didn’t meet her at the door.
“Alfred! Alfred! Where are you? Why aren’t you at the door to meet me like you usually are?” Moms said as she made a beeline into the house desperately calling my name and looking for me.
I felt so sick. So bloated. I couldn’t move.
“Alfred, there you are under the covers – like a little immovable ball. You look dead!” Moms said, as I slowly moved my way down from the bed still underneath the covers. I looked horrible. “Let me get this new all natural cat litter- Egyptian Sands – into your litter box!”
As soon as Moms finished putting the new cat litter into my box, I got into my hooded litter box and didn’t come out until 20 minutes later. I was all dusty and my coat was dull from the “all-natural” Egyptian sands. But, I felt like a new cat! My moms was overwhelmed with how much I had filled up the litter box.
“Wow, Little Man, you were really holding in your poop, weren’t you? You must have been in a lot of pain. You just let it all out now. I can’t believe how much poop came out of you.”
A few days later, my Moms took me back to the Homestead where I was able to go back to my normal routine. I went back to my old cat litter. Moms didn’t like how dusty my coat looked with all that all natural stuff. And, I’m back on my dry food with hair ball protection. No more coughing up giant hair balls. No more holding in my poop. I’m back on the farm, living in peace. Just watching the tobacco grow.
I hope you guys are well and enjoying your routine.
Happy Father’s Day!
From KING ALFRED.
Guys, I’m here in Durham. And, I’m doin’ lots better than I was last time I was here and went into a deep depression.
My moms and I just want to give a shout out to all the fathers out there, including my Grandpops. My Grandpops always leaves me lots of messages on my blog and gives me lots of writing support since my Moms doesn’t always help me. You guys know my paws still get stuck in between the keys when I type my blogs.
You guys also know that I can’t become a father so I can’t party with all the other dads today. I talked about that problem during last year’s Father’s Day. Last month my Uncle Les asked my Moms if I was thinking about gettin’ married one day. And, my Moms explained to him about my neutering operation back in Rwanda. But, you guys know that my Moms wouldn’t let me go any where so even if I didn’t have that operation I probably still wouldn’t be a dad today.
Any way, guys…
Just want to wish you and your pops a great father’s day!
Guess what! My moms forgot to vaccinate me! Can you believe it? I just might die!
There I was enjoying a nice afternoon at the homestead when I started scratching.
“Oh King Alfred, I’m going to have to go get you your flea medicine at the Banefield Pet Hospital. You’re scratching and soon all those fleas will be all over my furniture,” my Moms said, which made me stop scratching. I hate that stuff. Makes me jump when my Moms squirts it on me.
At the vet’s my Moms decided it would be a good idea to check on when I needed my next rabies shot.
“Well, it seems that your Mr. King Alfred was supposed to get his rabies shot in 2011,” the Banefield vet told my Moms.
“Last year! What?! How did I get so behind?! What if my Little Man has to do hand-to-hand combat with an infected rat in order to protect the homestead? K.A. could get rabies! And die! And, where would that leave me?!” Moms screamed startled by the news to a baffled PetSmart worker.
Guys… I didn’t realize that my Moms could be as dramatic as me.
My Moms rushed home to tell me that I needed to be vaccinated and I was in danger of getting rabies until I got my shot.
“But, Moms! What kinda Moms are you if you forgot my shot?!” I screamed. My anger issues were kicking in. “I’m gonna have to report you to the Authorities!”
“Now, Alfred, calm down. I didn’t mean to forget your vaccination. And, you know how much you hate to ride in the Benz let alone go to the vet,” my Moms cooed softly, trying to pursuade me not to report her to the County Humane Soceity.
Guys, what do you think? Should I report my Moms to the Humane Soceity for neglect?
Let me know what you think.
Hello again my Loyal Fans!
Alfred here. KING Alfred. I know I’m late with my Memorial Day piece. But, my Moms has been too busy to help me with my blog. And, I want to give an ode – a shout out – to all of my Moms’ cats who came before me. I wasn’t my Moms’ first cat. There were a lot of others who came before me.
There was Dulce, the Cambodian cat, who Moms gave to her housekeeper in Phnom Penh when she left. Sometimes, Moms still mistakes me for Dulce and calls me her name. Dulce was Moms cat in 2001. But, before Dulce there was Feliz – yeah… Moms was into naming her cats Spanish names back then. Feliz was really feliz. She was Moms cat in 2000 and was born in the driveway where my Moms worked. When her brother was run over by a car, Moms took Feliz home with her. Feliz jumped out of the window and got eaten by the neighbor’s dog. Felice and Dulce were girl cats, and Feliz was Moms very favorite cat… until she got me of course…
Before them there were Simone and Gloria back in Mauritania 1991- 94. Yeah, as in Gloria Steinman and Simone de Beauvoir. In Tunisia, my Moms had Q’atoosha (that’s Arabic for “cat”) and Fatma (the name of the Prophet’s daughter), and then in Niger in 1987 Moms had a whole slew of cats. She only remembers Catherine and Samir. But, she had around 5 cats.
But, I’m Moms’ first real male cat, and I’ve totally turned things around in my Moms life by…
“Are you on the computer again…? Didn’t I tell you go to clean up your litter box before you got on the computer?!”
“But, Moms… I’m writing my Memorial Day piece. Remember you told me you were going to help me an’ all and then you got busy and now I’m late…?”
“Boy! Get off that computer! What are you telling those people any way? Are you showing off again, telling those people how great you are? Do those people who read your blog know how untidy you are and about all your emotional issues…? Do they know you left your litter box in the Benz 7 months ago, and I’m still riding around with a litter box with old cat poop in it? Do you know how embarrassing this is for me?!”
“But, Moms, you told me you were going to take out the litter box from the Benz. You know I can’t lift it up…”
“Alfred, are you whining again?! Since when is YOUR litter box MY problem? Do you know yesterday your Cousin Paula rode in the Benz with me and looked back and saw your dirty litter box…”
Uh… Sorry, Guys… I gotta go… My Moms is outta control!
Until next time!
My Moms left me home alone again! Can you believe it?! I can’t take it. I just can’t take it any more!
Guys, I need your help in managing my Moms – like majorly. I mean does your Moms leave you by yourself alone in the house days on end?? Like not even callin’ you or anything. And, you don’t even know where she went. And, you have this cat sitter you don’t even like, who comes by and looks after you?
My Moms does. I’m so stressed out. What should I do…?
Now, I’m always by the window, waitin’ for my Moms.
The other week I pleased my Moms by writing nicely to celebrate the first anniversary of my blog. But, really, I was depressed because my Moms had left me by myself for 3 nights. While she was away large, noisy tractors came to plant tobacco on the farm. Then another day other tractors came to cut the grass. All that noise stressed me out big time. And, when my Moms got back, I was like really wigged out. I couldn’t sleep at night. In the middle of the night, I would let out this huge Y-O-W-L… during major nightmares… like I was being chased by a tractor and my Moms was no where to help me. To snap me out of it, my Moms had to stroke and pet me awake, and I would purr with pure gratitude that she had saved me yet once again.
So, I was pullin’ out of my depression and gettin’ back to normal an’ all when she left me again! Can you believe it, guys?! I’m so mad. I am so angry at her!! I hate it when my Moms leaves me. Guys, this is cat abuse, isn’t it?! It’s wrong when a Moms or a Pops leaves their cat all alone to fend for himself in the cold, mean, cruel world. Don’t you think?!
Yesterday, I took my anger out by overturning my litter box and emptying out all my poop on the kitchen floor. This of course was after I tore up Moms’ antique Persian rug. And you know what, guys?! The cat sitter called my Moms and told her what I did. She ratted me out! Like who’s side is she on?! I thought she was supposed to come and protect me an’ all.
I just can’t believe I’ve been betrayed again! Tricked by my Moms! I’m so unhappy! I’m so angry! My Cousin Lee told me that the next time my Moms leaves me I should pack up my bags and leave. I’m so angry I think I’m going to leave. I just can’t it any more!!
Do I hear something…?
Guys… I think it’s my Moms.
I think my Moms is back…
I think she came back to me…
“Moms… Is that you…?!”
“M-O-M-S!!! Moms! It’s you! “
“It’s Y-O-U! Moms!”
“You’re back!! You didn’t abandon me forever like I thought!”
“You’re back to see your cat. Alfred. You’re darling KING ALFRED!!”
“Moms! I’m so happy to have you back! You know I’m so devoted and loyal and would never speak bad about you. I love you so much…?
Guys! Gotta go! My Moms is back.
All is well in the universe…
I can’t believe my Moms has got me blogging me so much. She can be very demanding. She gets nasty, if I don’t do my blogs.
That’s me in the picture on our bed in Malabo, Equatorial Guinea. That was during my pre-blogging years. Moms would spend so much time working on the computer and I was going through so many problems I just begged her to let me blog some to work out all my issues.
Well, thanks to you guys, I can get some feedback on how to handle life and most importantly my Moms. I mean we go on these adventures and all and it can be really stressful for me. I have a hard time managing my anger and separatioin anxiety.
Plus, something is always happening to me, as my Auntie J always says. Like I get stressed out when my Moms leaves me home alone for days or sometimes weeks. Or, I get stung by a bee, affixiated by chemicals, poisoned by my Moms’ medicine, left behind at the airport. And guys, remember when the Hurricane Irene hit and my Moms and I had to evacuate our farm in North Carolina..?
Jeez… life as Moms’ cat, just ain’t that easy.
Thanks, guys, for sticking by me and seeing me through all my issues. I hope you continue to give me support during my advertures with my Moms during my coming year.
Today’s Mother’s Day. And, I was just thinkin’ about how I’m so much like my Moms, realizing that what Nancy Friday’s 1977 book My Mother/My Self: The Daughter’s Search for Identity said holds true for my relationship with my Moms. I know that book talked about the relationship a mother has with her daughter and all. But, I really think it applies to Moms and me.
I mean it’s really hard for me to have my own separate identity without my Moms stoppin’ me and trying to dictate who I should be and who I should be with. Like Moms never lets me go outside or anything. What’s up with that?! And then she lets men come in the house and expects me to act civil to them. How can a true man – a true King – be civil when a male comes all up on his territory? That ain’t right, guys, is it?!
I just don’t get how my Moms wants to control me and all. It’s like she doesn’t want me to be me and have my own likes and dislikes or values or life. I mean I can’t even have a special cat friend – like a girlfriend. My Moms would wig out!
The scary thing, guys, is that the older I get the more I find myself actin’ just like Moms! Can you believe it?! That book was right!
When I was little I only liked milk and sometimes water. But, then I started drinkin’ ice tea, just like my Moms. I saw her do it. So, I knew drinkin’ ice tea was what I was suppose to do, too.
Then there’s my struggle with relationships. When I was little I used to like everyone and let everyone pick me up. Then I watched Moms. She only let a select group of people get close to her. As Moms’ cat, I followed her and did the same thing. Now, I only let a select few people come close to me – like only my Moms.
So, guys, I hope you can work out all your mother-child issues and enjoy your Mother’s Day today. I also hope you’re lucky enough to have the best moms ever, like me!
I’m back at the Homestead! Finally! My moms got some sense and took us back to the homestead. So, I’m outta my depression. All is well. Thanks for thinking of me and sending me good vibes.
I know I should have coped with my fears. But, I just wasn’t up to it. Maybe during my next visit to Durham.
But in the meantime, I’m keeping my Moms locked up here at the Homestead. Take a look at me in the picture to the right where I’ve blocked the front door so my Moms can’t get out.
I’m so smart!
When I got back to the homestead from the Big Apple things were going really well. My anger management was under control. I had kicked my separation anxeity problem. I had even taken over the homestead house again – running up and down the hallway all day chasing imaginary items.
Then my Moms put me back in the Benz and hauled off me to Durham. I never told you guys about our place in Durham, but my Moms has another house in North Carolina she takes me to sometimes. I like it okay. But, ever since she brought me here I’ve been in a deep depression.
“Alfred! Alfred!” My moms called me. It was 2 pm in the afternoon, and I still hadn’t come out from under the bed covers – my main hiding place in the Durham town house. “Cat Man, you can’t sleep all day. You’ve been in bed since early evening yesterday. You’re going to have to come out at some point and deal with your fears,” my Moms said, trying to reason with me.
What? The King deal with his fears? I don’t think so. As far as I’m concerned, I can deal with everything right here under the covers.
When I am up and about in the Durham town house I run from window to window trying to figure out what wild cat has the nerve to come near my Moms’s house. One of the key reasons, my Moms liked the house was for its big windows that start low, close to the ground and go almost up to the ceiling. But, I just make myself sick running from window to window trying to see what’s going on.
After an hour or two of this, I collapse in the bed, under the covers in deep depression…
How’s it going? It’s me the King… Guys… you aren’t going to believe it, but my Moms and I went back to North Carolina.
I don’t know why. I was really enjoying my life in the Big Apple… er… Jersey. Maybe my Moms got mad at me because I kept harrassing the dog, and the dog almost bit off my head. I mean all I wanted to do was sleep in his bed. I just tried out his bed a few times. I would sleep in the his bed when he was upstairs in the little boy’s room and everyone else was busy in their own rooms.
Guys, the dog’s bed is definitely not as nice as my cat bed or cat house. But, now, the dog has to sleep with my cat fur, locked up behind the bars of his pen. Hee hee. That’s what he gets for coming up to the third floor and pooping and peeing and trying tomark MY territory.
So, there I was lounging on my cat bed, contemplating the meaning of life, when my Moms slipped me a cat valium. I knew immediately a long trip was ahead of me. There I am in the picture above, drugged out in my cat carrying case. Boy, did I hiss and growl when I had to leave Jersey.
I was good in the car. I spent most of the time by my Moms feet while she drove. Our trip was suppose to be only 8 hours but it ended up being 12 hours. My cat valium wore off after 10 hours, and I started meowing, driving my Moms crazy. But, Guys, what do you expect when your valium wears off…??
I have to say that when we got back to the homestead I was glad. Planting season has already started, and the land is already plowed. Can you believe it? The King missed the plowing of the land.
But, it’s nice being back on my own territory. My first day back I spent running up and down the hallway – stretching my legs like I couldn’t do back in Jersey – and playing fetch with my Moms.
Springtime in the Carolinas. Guys… there’s nothing like it.
It’s me again. Alfred. The KING – yeah, that’s right.
Well lately my Kinghood is being challenged here in Jersey. I mean, Guys, like what am I going to do with this dog?
He thinks the entire house is his. I k-n-o-w that the third floor is mine, and really, I’m thinkin’ of expanding my territory to more of the house. Like, I really want to take over that basement. So, if you guys read my last post, you know I got stuck in the basement the other day, and it was really embarrassing. Then my Moms caught me in the basement again and when I was trying to quietly and quickly creep back up the stairs she gave this big WHACK on my cat hind parts right when I snuck through her legs. I didn’t even squeal or cringe with embarrassment because I knew I was wrong.
So, now I’m tryin’ to figure out how to make that dog know that I’m the King. Of the entire house!
So, there I was in my room thinkin’ and thinkin’ when I heard this growling. The dog had come up to the third floor! He left a big pile of poop at the stairs to mark the territory and challenge me and then peed in the hallway.
Oh no! He’s comin’ after me! What am I going to do?! I’m too scared to even say anything. Who would hear me up here on the third floor all alone.
“Alfred! Alfred!” my Moms called out coming up the stairs looking for me. “Oh no… what is this dog poop here?” Moms was startled – there I was backed up in a corner as the dog steadily approached me.
Moms entered the room and the dog and I were in an eye-to-eye deadlock. The dog was getting ready to attack me. There room was completely quiet.
“Alfred! You’re getting ready to be attacked by the dog! Why didn’t you say something?! Cry out or anything! I didn’t know you were trapped in the room by the dog?”
And, I let out a sigh of relief, as the dog left the room when my Moms came in. Saved by my Moms again. But, I wasn’t going to let on how relieved I was. I resumed my bravado of the King with everything under control.
“It’s okay, Moms. I got it all under control.”
The King just wants to wish you and your family a good Easter!
Spring is a time of rebirth, hope and renewal.
I’m reflecting on my relationship with my Moms and all of our advertures. I’m hopin’ for a renewed committment from my Moms to protect my health and look out for me on all of our adventures, and I’m tryin’ to be a better “angst-free” cat. Over Lent, I tried to give up catnip and really look inside my little cat heart to see what I could cleanse. That was pretty easy since my Moms doesn’t give me that much catnip. But, being in Jersey during Lent really challenged me to cleanse myself of my anger and separation anxeity and try to be a good cat for my Moms.
But, Guys… it’s just that the dog got to me, and I had to break some of my Lenten vows not be a difficult cat for my Moms.
The King is hoping you didn’t have the same challenges over Lent and have a sense of renewal and rebirth and joy during this Easter season.
It’s me, the King. A-L-F-R-E-D! I know I haven’t been on the blog scene lately. But, I’ve been so busy enjoying my new life here in Jersey I haven’t had time to catch up.
Plus, my Moms has been super busy with work. She hasn’t had a lot of time to help me with my blogs. And, Guys, you know how my cat paws get stuck in between the computer keys so I need my Moms to do my typing for me.
I just love it here in Jersey. Moms and I live on the third floor of a beautiful old-turn-of the-century Dutch colonial outside of New York City. The family who owns the house lives on the two main floors plus the basement. Where we live isn’t very big, and my Moms thought I wouldn’t like that. But, I love the blue carpeting which is on the whole floor while the rest of the house has hardwoods. I roll on my back on the carpeting all the time, looking up smiling at my Moms showing her how happy I am.
After that cat valium came out of my system after the trip and I started talking and pooping again, I’ve been fine. I haven’t had any emotional adjustment issues like I did when we moved to the homestead.
Each day my Moms leaves me in the room when she goes to work at 7 am and then lets me out when she gets back close to 11 pm. It’s a long time to be in the little room. But, I don’t mind. I have my cat feeder, which doles out my food every so often, my cat house, and my cat bed – not to mention the comfy bed with Moms scent. At night, when our door is open, I go prowl around the house exploring and pondering the true meaning of life.
Guys, you know I have anger management and separation anxeity issues, right? Well, this vacation is giving me lots of time to think about these issues. I mean what am I so angry about? That I’ve come close to losing my life many times and my Moms is always there to save me? And what am I so anxious about? That my Moms will leave me and I will be all alone in this world? But, my Moms always comes back. She has always been there for me. Right? I mean really. So, I can just chill. Relax. Vacation. And enjoy my life!
But, Guys… there is one thing that keeps me from completely relaxing and kicking back here in Jersey: The DOG
Downstairs in the house there is a Dog!
It’s Alfred again. Yeah, it’s me! How you Guys doin’?
I’m doin’ okay but my Moms and I are in a bit of a power struggle. You see – my Moms just doesn’t want to accept the fact that I’m a cat. And I do cat things. Moms wants to have things her way. And me being a cat, I want to have things my way. Here’s a picture of me refusing to come inside the house from the back porch when my Moms calls me.
I love going outside on the back porch at the homestead and feeling the natural cold air. The back porch is where the washing machine and dryer are, and Moms does the laundry. It’s only been just recently that my Moms lets me come out there because I cause so much trouble hissing and fussing and carrying on over other cats’ scents I smell. Now, that Moms lets me out I like to spend a lot of time out there. But, she wants me to come in when she’s done with the laundry, and I want to come in when I’m ready to come in. Sometimes when I refuse to come she reaches down and picks me up by my front legs – all wrong like. Talk about cat abuse! It doesn’t hurt me but it humuliates me… It hurt my feelings. I mean I’m a grown cat. Why do I have to get treated that way?!.
Just some food for thought. Sometimes just being yourself can drive your Moms crazy…!
Alfred here. Yeah… it’s me the KING. I know I don’t look so hot today. You can see it in my picture. That’s because I had nightmares all last night. For those of you who have been reading my blogs know that I have anger management and separation anxeity issues. But, since my Moms and I have been settled here in rural Eastern North Carolina I’ve gotten a hold over my anger issues – for the most part that is.
Maybe I’m channelling all my issues into my dreams now because I’ve been havin’ some bad nightmares lately. Last night I woke up my Moms twice.
“Alfred! Alfred!” My Moms said alarmed, “What’s wrong, Little Man?! You were crying out so loud in your sleep you woke me up. ” Moms gently rubbed me awake so I could get my act together.
“It’s going to be okay, Little Man,” my Moms cooed to me. “Just relax and go back to sleep.”
And, Guys, I did. I went back to sleep, comforted knowing that my Moms was next to me. My Moms hasn’t left me alone for almost 3 weeks now. I know you’re probably thinkin’ that’s not much. But, it’s a long time for her! You know she’s always going to visit GrandMoms in Michigan or off to some new location to see friends. I guess her leaving me alone stresses me out or something. Later on in the night, my Moms woke me up again.
“Alfred! Alfred!” my Moms cried. “What’s wrong, Man? You were shaking so hard in your sleep you rocked the bed and woke me up again. It’s going to be okay, Little Man. Don’t worry. Your Moms is right here and I’m not going anywhere.”
And, Guys, I was able to relax and go back to sleep, calmed by my Moms’ soothing voice and assured in the knowledge that she was right next to me.
Guys, I hope you have someone to soothe you and calm you down when you have a bad dream. Everyone needs someone to make all the bad things go away.
Sweet dreams, Guys!
Guys! It’s Alfred… KING ALFRED. Or, what’s left of him. That vet visit left me shot.
“Alfred. Alfred? Alfred..! Come say good-bye before I go to work.”
“Alfred, are you still mad at me for taking you to the vet…?”
Guys, I didn’t answer that woman. I mean what does she think? Takin’ me to that vet, gettin’ that shot and then the humuliation of havin’ my little furry cat let stuck out to get blood takin’. So, I stayed on my King ottoman – next to my King chair. I didn’t move for an entire 12 hours.
Not only didn’t I say good-bye to my Moms, I didn’t say “hello” when she got back home from work.
“You’re in pain, Little Man!! You’re in pain!!” Moms was in shock. In terror actually. Guys, she put me on her bed at 6 pm, and I didn’t move the entire time. I just gave my Moms an evil look and hissed any time she touched me. My Moms called the vet almost 20 times demanding explanations why her Little Man (that’s me!) was in such pain. They assured her it was due to the FIV vaccine and should go away in a few hours. Moms was furious no one told her about the side effects ahead of time. We both agreed that we should got back to our Banefield vet. Moms was supposed to go to Durham that evening. But, she stayed next to me the entire night.
At 4 am in the morning, I got up and felt great!! Absolutely great!! “Moms! I’m all better! I feel great!”
Guys, my Moms went off to Durham and I held down the fort. I’m all better now. It’s been like two weeks. But, guess what. My head – my furry little cat head – still smelled like stale urine from peeing in my carrying case when we went to the vet. And, guys you know how much I hate bad odors. So, Moms washed my head today. In the bathroom sink. I didn’t like it. But, now I smell really good, guys! Plus, I feel great!